Dancing Alone

If you're throwing a party and you need someone to get the dancing started, call me. If you're throwing a party and you're concerned you might be labeled crazy by association, then don't reach out, because damnit, I dance. I dance like no one's watching. Always on beat, yet blissfully unaware of what my appendages …

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Condiment Control

You know what my favorite time of day is? Dinner time. Yup. I love feeling defeated so much that I figure, hey, why not make my own mess to clean, then willingly hand my creation over to a bunch of uncoordinated master manipulators who will undoubtably criticize my efforts, grind it into the rug, and …

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